Dear Mr. Trump and Madam Secretary,

To further American Exceptionalism, Manhattan Comedy School is issuing a special invitation for presidential candidates like you who seek their party’s nomination.

If you act now, you can join our six-week beginner stand-up comedy class for free. That’s right: we said  free. Even for Donald.

The fun and informative six sessions, which meet once a week, start Monday, May 2nd from 7:00 – 10:00 pm—and we’ve set aside two spots just for you. No need to allot precious campaign funds better spent on phone banks and attack ads. And you’ll save the regular price of $399 that even declining middle-class voters are eager to pay.

Along with your fellow graduates, who will learn as you have what it means to face hostile audiences, you’ll gain invaluable skills in joke-writing, effective delivery, and stage presence from veteran industry pro Karen Bergreen. In fact, despite having never been interviewed by Wolf Blitzer, she has an impressive roster of TV appearances, comedy specials, and acclaimed books to her credit.

What’s more: Not only will you master the craft of comedy, but you’ll showcase your new act on the Gotham Comedy Club (http://gothamcomedyclub.com/) main stage before 300 of your constituents. Legendary comics Jerry Seinfeld, Louis CK, and Amy Schumer appear there often—and you know how well they garner support from a variety of demographic populations.  

Register now (http://www.manhattancomedyschool.com/classes-and-registration) so your well-crafted one-liners and polished delivery make voters actually welcome the countless brochures and TV ads you’ll inundate them with before the critical California primaries.

During this historical election year, which means so much to the future of our nation, remember: You don’t need big hands to hold a microphone.

Sincerely,

Manhattan Comedy School
“Making Comedians Great Again While Fighting for Us to Be Funny”