Top 5 Comedywire Jokes of the Day: The Pope, Cancer, and a Rolex

"Trump responds by saying they have gone from 9's to 5's. Sad!"-Robb
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"Surgeons were frantic when they realized they removed the wrong leg."-Ingrid Raunikar

3. Nose-Picking Masturbator Terrorizes NYC Subway Riders

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"They weren't used to seeing someone picking their nose."-Mike Frankovich

4. A surgeon has diagnosed his own cancer with an iPhone

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"I have diagnosed my own cancer many times with WebMD."-Robb

5. Late Paul Newman's Rolex Daytona Sells For Record $17.8 Million At Auction

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"Now the buyer can keep track of the time he spends not helping poor people."-Nick Jack Pappas