Top 5 Comedywire Jokes of the Day: The Pope, Cancer, and a Rolex

 "Trump responds by saying they have gone from 9's to 5's. Sad!"-Robb

"Surgeons were frantic when they realized they removed the wrong leg."-Ingrid Raunikar

3. Nose-Picking Masturbator Terrorizes NYC Subway Riders


"They weren't used to seeing someone picking their nose."-Mike Frankovich

4. A surgeon has diagnosed his own cancer with an iPhone


"I have diagnosed my own cancer many times with WebMD."-Robb

5. Late Paul Newman's Rolex Daytona Sells For Record $17.8 Million At Auction


"Now the buyer can keep track of the time he spends not helping poor people."-Nick Jack Pappas