Top 5 Comedywire Jokes of the Day: Conspiracies, Birthdays, and Jury Duty

 "Trump responds by saying they have gone from 9's to 5's. Sad!"-Robb

"Trump has treated his presidency like a reality show, so he shouldn't be surprised when Paul Manafort betrays the tribe."-Nick Jack Pappas

2. Barack Obama's Will Be Serving On Jury Duty


"The defense will be excited to see a juror who is an unemployed black man with a history of being treated poorly by the government."-Robb

3. Today Is Ivanka Trump's Birthday. She's 36.


"On the plus side, she no longer has to worry about Donald lusting after her - 35’s his cutoff"-Jack Dowler.

4. Historic Alexandria church decides to remove plaque honoring George Washington


"They’re also rethinking that statue of Jesus Christ."-Lina Jane

5. Saudi Arabia to Allow Women into Sports Stadiums in 2018


"True to their despotic cruelty, they are only allowed to watch the Knicks"-Peter Duffy