1. Shopping is like sex for some people, study finds

"Agreed. I don't often get asked to go shopping either."-Charlie Currie

2. Lil Wayne won't go through security check, skips concert

"That's because it takes him 3 hours just to remove all his piercings"-Bret Sohl

3. Dunkin’ Donuts dropping ‘Donuts’ from name and downsizing menu

"Eventually they’ll shorten it to D, which is the shape of their customers."-Jeff Sawyer

4. Man Tries To Escape Hotel Bill By Crossing A Telephone Wire To Next Building

"It was the first time in years a landline was used for anything."-Nick Jack Pappas

5. The Scaramucci Post news site will represent the 'center lane'

"There's no center lane on the Highway to Hell."-Bill McKinley