1. Anthony Weiner Sentenced To 21 Months In Federal Prison

At least the months are 21.-Andrew Fruchtman

2. People spend more time sitting on the toilet each week than exercising, study finds

Just eat Chipotle every day; you'll be sweating on the toilet in no time.-Kendall Tucker

3. How Classic Cartoons Created a Culturally Literate Generation

Bill Cosby learned many of his dating moves from Pepe Le Pew.-David Goldman

4. Star Trek: Discovery Premiered Last Night

Star Trek Discovery: boldly going where everybody has gone before. -Citizen Blaine

5. Pandas Are No Longer Endangered

No just the entire Human race is now.-David Romero