1. Clinton says Trump is ‘worse than I thought he would be’

She also thought she would be president-Freddie Walker

2. Sex robot called Samantha goes on sale in UK and she's yours for £3,500

I can't even afford a relationship with a fake female-Eric Eldridge

3. Truck overturns in North Carolina, loses 44,000 pounds of vodka

Neighbors arrive in droves with Wet-Vacs and cranberry juice.-Terry Stain

4. Trump Withdraws NBA Champions' Invitation to the White House after point guard Stephen Curry said he didn't want to go.

He disinvited Golden State, but the rockets may drop in.-Jeff Sawyer

5. Mexican Modeling Agency Cancels Male Beauty Contest. Can't Find Handsome Candidates

They should do what Hollywood does when they need a handsome Mexican. Use white people.-Daniel Bradley