1. FBI Investigating Alleged Sex-Tape Extortion Plot Against Kevin Hart

"The FBI got involved because, based on his height, they thought it was child pornography"-Raymond Santos

2. Astronomers discover pitch-black planet orbiting distant star

"The distant star locked it's car"-Vinod Chhaproo

3. Stephen King Said Donald Trump Has A seriously Fucked-Up Mind.

"If anyone can identify a sadistic killer clown, it's Stephen King."-Bill Bradley

4. Google Home Can Now Help You Find Dates

"But it'll never introduce you to a woman named Alexa."-Chris Staron

5. iOS11 debuts today

"And every iOS10 mysteriously became much slower"-Matt Levy