1. Pope Francis held a video conference with the astronauts on the International Space Station

"We haven't reached God yet, no."-Raymond Santos

2. Man with 3ft penis has life-changing surgery to reduce size of 11lb testicles

"Surgeons were frantic when they realized they removed the wrong leg."-Ingrid Raunikar

3. Nose-Picking Masturbator Terrorizes NYC Subway Riders

"They weren't used to seeing someone picking their nose."-Mike Frankovich

4. A surgeon has diagnosed his own cancer with an iPhone

"I have diagnosed my own cancer many times with WebMD."-Robb

5. Late Paul Newman's Rolex Daytona Sells For Record $17.8 Million At Auction

"Now the buyer can keep track of the time he spends not helping poor people."-Nick Jack Pappas