Top 5 Comedywire Jokes of the Day: The Emmys, Tinder Fingers, and Naughty Twins

 "Trump responds by saying they have gone from 9's to 5's. Sad!"-Robb
"Trump responds by saying they have gone from 9's to 5's. Sad!"-Robb

2. "Tinda Finge" Device Lets Users Automatically Swipe Right Up To 6,000 Times A Minute

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"A finger that swipes up to 6,000 times a minute. Sorry, guys, I think women just found their Tinder match."-Louis Ferrante

3. Bill Gates thinks an infectious disease could kill 30 million people in the next decade

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"He believes the only cure is to close your windows and open them again."-Nick Jack Pappas

4. Gym Bro Gets Penis Stuck In Weight Plate. Has To Be Cut Free By Firefighters

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"It was a 5lb weight although the guy claims it was a 25lb weight."-Bret Sohl

5. Woman Says Her Indescribable Pain Was Caused by Twin She Ate in Womb

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"That's sibling rivalry taken up a notch"-Amy Barnes