Top 5 Comedywire Jokes of the Day: Libidos, Terrorism, and Hurricanes

 "Trump responds by saying they have gone from 9's to 5's. Sad!"-Robb

Thus answering the eternal question: "Why the long face?"-Emily Rosenberg

2. Hurricane Maria makes landfall in Puerto Rico with 155-mph winds

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It's the most dangerous hurricane of the last few hours.-Nick Jack Pappas

3. The Dadbag Is A Fanny Pack Made To Look Like A "Flabby Dad Gut"

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For when you absolutely must get those swarms off women off of you.-Jen Lap

4. Trump orders US military to build giant wall in Afghanistan to keep terrorists out

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Good thing terrorists can't fly planes.-Erik Thornquist

5. Mum makes drastic change to be mortgage free by 30 - and it works

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All she had to do was stop enjoying life-Christopher Schmidt