Top 5 Comedywire Jokes of the Day: Bath Salts, Religion, and the National Anthem

 "Trump responds by saying they have gone from 9's to 5's. Sad!"-Robb

Fox news: "Thugs dressed as kids take over football field"-Noway Jose

2. Chronicle survey finds sharp lifestyle differences between low-income students and wealthy students

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Mainly in how they utilize bath salts.-T Paradocsfickle

3. Religious children are not as nice as secular counterparts, study finds

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Luckily, secular children won't dirty up heaven with their unconditional kindness.-Aryn Corley

4. At The U.N., Netanyahu Emerges As Trump’s Biggest Fan

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They're a lot alike except that Netanyahu speaks English better.-Emily Rosenberg

5. World's Richest Woman Has Died

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I'm not sure how yet, but we're related.-Craig Salters