Top 5 Comedywire Jokes of the Day: Christmas Sex, Family Inheritance, and Secret Meetings

 "Trump responds by saying they have gone from 9's to 5's. Sad!"-Robb

Melania Trump preemptively declines to meet, citing total lack of interest in "figuring out Trump".-Marcus Blank

2. Trump to visit hurricane-ravaged Puerto Rico

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Says the island will be cleaned up quickly. Especially since half the population is 'the cleaning lady".-Daniel Bradley

3. Ivanka and Donald Jr. Reportedly Tried to Cut Tiffany Out of Her Inheritance

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In the end, they decided not to deprive their half-sibling of her autographed copy of "The Art of the Deal."-Marcus Blank

4. September 26 Is The Most Popular Day For Births Because Of "Christmas Sex" Nine Months Before

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Looking forward to Brendan Fraser resuming his career.-Robb